[SOLVED] Reply to Peers comment
Can you help me understand this Writing question?
In responding to following two paragraph, provide constructive feedback, identifying one thing that was effective and explaining why or how it was effective; also identify one thing that could be improved and explain why or how it could be made more effective.
You can put them in one page but reply separately for each.
Paragraph 1: The reason I am completing my bachelors degree is to put myself a step ahead of the competition, when it comes to promotional opportunities within my agency. I am currently employed as a State Trooper, and I would eventually like to hold a supervisory role. I do not believe that this degree will give me everything I need to be a good leader. This degree will support my knowledge and skills I have learned while on the job, and will hopefully turn me into a strong leader. Strong leadership is not something you can learn out of a book or a classroom. However having a wide range of knowledge is a trait a leader should have. The diverse education I have received here at SNHU, will be vital as I pursue a supervisory role. Not only have I gained knowledge in criminal justice, and leadership, but I have also learned a lot about culture and the social sciences. I believe this is important because I work in a very diverse state. Understanding the social sciences such as psychology and sociology has helped me have a better understanding of how society, and people work. I believe that my diverse education will make me an asset because, I will be able to wear many different hats. Not only am I now trained in the management of police personnel, but I am also trained in emergency management, and crisis intervention. I have also taken classes that involve budgeting and analyzing statistical data, which is a large part of a supervisors job within our agency. Overall I feel that my BA.GS. will be a great asset moving forward, as I pursue my career dreams.
Paragraph 2: My personal goal is to complete my BA.GS degree by August 2020. My chosen concentration will be Sociology and will enhance my current long-time career in healthcare. Through attending SNHU, I’ve learned more about the General Studies degree and just how applicable it is to our current society and is a potential draw to future employers. This degree is relevant to anyone wanting to finish an undergraduate degree since it encompasses such a diverse mix of classes while allowing you to choose the concentration that is most suited for you in future endeavors. The BA.GS degree provides the curriculum to enhance a resume to show that a potential employee possesses learned skills such as critical thinking, time-management, planning and interpersonal communications with others.
Having such a diverse educational background would make anyone a great asset in today’s world of employment. My BA.GS degree with a concentration in Sociology will help me provide the KSA’s needed to provide even better care to my patients in the hospital setting. In my twenty years as a Respiratory Therapist, I’ve learned by observation and also from my own accomplishments how important it is to be a team leader and provide excellent communication to others, especially in a high-stress job. Your coworkers look to you for calmness and suggestions and respected leadership is key to a smooth shift to keep as much balance and harmony as possible.